Monday, July 14, 2014

Ask the Internet - Is Spontaneity Rude?

Dear Internet,

I am a planner. I love making lists, schedules, and lesson plans. I enjoy knowing what will happen when. All that being said, my husband and I make a lot of last-minute plans. This doesn't bother me. In my mind, it's not that we've changed plans, but created them.

Often when we do this, it is influenced by our children. If they're in a lousy mood, we might shoot for an early bedtime and then decide to watch a movie once they're asleep. If they are bouncing off the walls, we might go out somewhere to get out some of their energy. These aren't events to plan; they just happen.

Breakdance party!

When we do end up with plans, we often want to invite friends. We have a handful of friends in the area who are occasionally available, so we both get out our phones and start calling. We don't particularly expect anyone to be free at the last minute, but often someone is. Great!

Here's the thing. I stopped calling one friend because she seemed insulted that I would think she didn't have plans on a Friday evening. I meant no slight... clearly I didn't have plans! I have a couple other friends whom I am hesitant to call, too. I just can't tell if they also think it is rude to call at the last minute.

Is there a social protocol to this? Is this another example of ask culture and guess culture?

- Hesitant Hostess

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