Monday, November 25, 2013

Things You Never Wanted to Know about Me

It has been a long, hard day for me. Instead of any post of substance, I will resort to being utterly shallow and self-centered. Here is a list of things that never crossed your mind to ask.

1. Every movie I've seen in theaters was G or PG, except Bruce Almighty. It wasn't worth it.

2. My pinkie toes kind of slant under my ring toes. And yes, I call them ring toes.

3. I once scored a goal in soccer from the midfield line while playing defense. It was purely accidental.

4. I memorized a quote from Return of the Native in high school, although I can't tell you anything about the story any more. "What did she say? Surely nothing that can't be got over." "'Get out of my sight you slim twisted slack-witted 'maphrotite fool' was the woman's words to me."

5. Every boy on whom I've had a crush was Catholic, ended up in the military, or both - except for the three I actually dated. Jeremy became Catholic while we were dating... so I guess that's less interesting than I thought.

6. As a child, I desperately wanted to wear contact lenses because I really liked watching my cousin put in hers.

7. When I was in fifth grade, I got a palatal expander as part of orthodontic treatment for my cross-bite. I gave an oral report the same day. On Saskatchewan.

8. We had king-sized candy bars to celebrate the feast of Christ the King.
It looks all Instagram'd, but it's really just a bad exposure

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