Monday, April 8, 2013

Should I be more than a mother?

My childhood friend, Mlle. Michael, had a post today asking her readers to brag about themselves and share their dreams. I can fairly easily create a list of areas where I excel, both silly and significant. But dreams? I haven't thought about that in quite awhile.

I have goals, which I think are different. We plan to pay off our mortgage in the next seven years. I homeschool Peter and will do the same with Anne when she is older. I'm working to lose these last five pounds of pregnancy weight in the next few weeks. I intend to teach Sunday School for many years to come, unless God nudges me away. These are good goals, very practical and attainable. They are not dreams.

When I contemplated dreams, first I drew a complete blank. I have a wonderful family, I've traveled, I wrote a book that people actually paid money to own. I'm married to the love of my life. What dreams do I really have? I realized my dreams are for my children.

I dream of them discovering their passions, finding their vocations, having a powerful connection with God. I dream of their delight in nature, their joy in solid friendships. I dream of an ever-maturing relationship with each of them.


These are good, beautiful dreams. They reflect how completely my vocation as a mother has filled me. I don't see a lack because I don't have dreams for myself... should I? I wonder if somewhere down the road I will wish I had done "more" with my life, although I can't see that happening. I tend to think that if I am enjoying the present, I won't regret it in the future.

If you're a more experienced mother, I'd enjoy reading your thoughts on this!

4 comments:

  1. As a mother with older children, I can honestly say I do not wish I had been "more" then a mother. My kids are in and approaching their teenage years, and I feel so blessed to have been there as a mother, teacher, friend, and example to each of them and feel no regret that my dreams were for and of them.

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    1. Thanks! That's approximately what my mom said, too. :-)

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  2. I'm a less experienced mother than you, but have been wrestling a bit with this myself. I suppose we need to put our children's lives in the context of the whole of our own - Peter and Anne will be such a focus for many years to come, but in twenty years' time (say) they will be moving on and becoming independent, and it's good to have some ideas on where your energies will go then. Not, of course, that you'll stop that bond with them, but it won't be so all-consuming, and I don't think there's any harm in looking at the arc of your whole life, including both the child-intense parts and the rest.

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    1. That's a good perspective. I don't think I'll be at loose ends when the kids grow up; I suspect I'll just do more volunteer work, maybe travel more depending on my husband's job. I guess I think of dreams as unfulfilled longings and I just don't have any of those for myself right now. Well, except possibly to have some chocolate panda paws ice cream in the freezer. ;-)

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