Thursday, February 2, 2012

Ability and Opportunity

I took Peter for his 18 month checkup and was given a whole list of developmental milestones to check. Overall, he's right where he should be in most areas and a little advanced in some.

But he doesn't eat well with a spoon.

I told the nurse practitioner that we usually feed him, so he hasn't had much opportunity to practice. I have no concerns about his fine motor abilities. She was not impressed.

I'm frustrated that she implied I was a lazy parent. I'm frustrated that she recommended starting with sticky oatmeal, when his chart says he's allergic to oats. I'm frustrated that we have a carpeted kitchen, that a spoon reflects on Peter's likelihood of success in life, and that we had to wait 20 minutes to be insulted.

It's a good thing we like our actual doctor. And that we have six months before we're supposed to go back.

8 comments:

  1. trust your instincts. we took david for a sick visit on wednesday and purposely waited for almost an hour to make sure that we could see our ped instead of just taking first available because she knows david and i've never felt like i've had to defend myself or parenting choices with her. feeding with a spoon is not the only way to measure motor skills!
    if you do want to start letting him try to feed himself with a spoon, i would suggest a beach towel or old table cloth under the highchair and something sticky-ish just b/c it will stay on the spoon - and actually, david figured out using the fork before the spoon since he could just stab and get something instead of figuring out the scoop. but he still asks us to feed him half the time!
    anyway - trust your gut - you know peter better than the np does!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've had no problems with the other NP, but in the future I definitely plan on avoiding this one. Thanks for the encouragement!

      Delete
  2. Seriously, don't sweat it. Marko learned to use a spoon at about sixteen months and was pretty good, albeit messy, with it. Then about a month later, he decided he didn't like the trouble and mess and insisted I feed him every time. Annoying. But there it is -- what our kids do has way more to do with their personality and opportunities than their ability.

    Silly nurse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, oh kids. You'd think being a pediatric nurse that she'd understand that. Sigh.

      Delete
  3. Ugh. How frustrating! I'm sure you give Peter lots of opportunity for fine motor skills, and when he does start using a spoon, he'll master it in a flash!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it's not like we keep him in mittens all day. :-) Thanks for the support!

      Delete
  4. That is frustrating! I wouldn't worry about that nurse. Our DD didn't use a spoon until she was 2 1/2! She has excellent fine motor skills; she just wasn't interested and I didn't see any reason to push it. One day she asked for a spoon (for soup btw) and that was the end of that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do find it interesting how so many parents say that childhood passes so quickly... then spend those precious years pushing their kids to master things and move on. Thanks for the encouragement!

      Delete