Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Dating and Courtship, Part II

In sophomore year of college, I dated a friend for a few months whom I met in class as a freshman. We visited each other's families, hung out with friends, and also spent quite a bit of time alone together. He and I are still friends and our mutual friends read this blog. With that in mind, I'll summarize this relationship by saying that again it was my choice to end it, but this time he was the one left feeling that he had put in much more than had been returned.

There are significant differences between my two relationships, mostly due to the difference in age. As high school students, we naturally spent time in large groups of friends and at someone's home where the parents were present. We spent time with each others' families and were rarely alone together. In college, we spent much more time with just the two of us. We talked a lot and had more than a kiss while watching Veggie Tales with friends.

Looking at both of my dating relationships, I understand the critique of the conventional dating scene. Dating can mean widely different things to the two involved in the relationship. It does not require a declaration of intentions, which can result in misunderstandings. My dating relationships ended with one person feeling hurt. If those dating learned something from the experience, the lesson was painful. My third relationship followed a courtship model and ended with neither of us feeling hurt. But I'm not sure if courtship is the reason it worked. Stay tuned.

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