Saturday, August 6, 2011

Changing Identity

I got my first professional hairstyle since age twelve today. Every time I see myself in the mirror, I do a double-take. I think I look like a new person!


After (I still have my son, don't worry!)
A changed identity reminded me of my early experience of marriage. Getting married was a HUGE adjustment, especially for me. In the span of four months, I finished graduate school classes, had two summer jobs, got married, moved from an apartment with a friend into a house with my husband, transitioned to a new parish, and began an internship. A week or two after returning from our honeymoon, I remember sitting on the bedroom floor and crying. My poor parents happened to call during this and tried their best to console me over the phone. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. But everything has changed. I don't even know who I am anymore!"

All of the sudden, every aspect of my life affected more than just me. If I hit snooze in the morning, it would wake up my husband, too. Dinner plans had to be discussed rather than just decided spur-of-the-moment. Marriage was a positive change, but it was a big one. It took me about a month to get my feet under me and feel like this was my life. And no one had told me. Oh sure, people would joke about relationship struggles and what a big step marriage was, but it wasn't a big deal. To be fair, I don't think anyone (myself included) gave much thought to how completely my life would be changing in such a short time.

When Peter was born, it was rather anti-climactic. He mostly slept, was highly portable, and his needs were simple and easily met. As he's grown, our lives have changed, but they have changed gradually and easily. I haven't felt my identity being challenged, even though becoming a mother is arguably a bigger change than getting married.

What significant changes have affected your life?


  1. I didn't know you cut your hair (not that i expect you to report that to me either.. no worries ;) looks really cute though! can't wait til i'm back in town to hang!

  2. Love your new hair! :)

    I don't always find major life changes easy, but they keep things exciting all the same... :)

  3. That was my experience with getting married, too. I quit my job to move to a different state, change my name, find a new job, find a new church, find new (if any) friends ... it was a really big transition!

    Love your haircut.

  4. @Becky: That's what you get for going out of town. ;-)

    @Kelly: Thanks! That's true, life certainly hasn't been boring!

    @Sheila: It was a lot to handle all at once. Sometimes wish God didn't have so much confidence in us, you know? :-)